I'm fuckin' loaded, yo

That's it! It's the moment I've been waiting for!
I QUIT!
I can finally afford to go and live the life of debaucherous lechery and excess I know I was destined for. Why, you may very well ask?
Well because I have just completed (apparently) a massive business deal and now I'm rooooolling in it.
Don't believe me?
Take a look:

Hello Dear Friend,

I am glad to inform you that I have successfully concluded the transaction, the money has been transferred to London through the assistant of Mr.Howard Ferraro who is a London base business man.Currently I am in London with him and my wife and children. However, I did not forget you because you are the source of my success,you made me what I am now though you are not there to complete this project with me but I gave all the credit and thanks to you. I know it is not your fault or rather your wish to back off on me and the transaction, I understand it was simply because of some circumstances you could not control.
In appreci ating your assistance, I have compensated you with a sum of $450,000.00 which I have writt en in certified bank cheque in your favour. I left the cheque with my secretary Mandela Freeman on my departure to London. I would like you to contact him with the below info and instruct him where to send the cheque to because i have directed him on that already.
Name: Ken ThembaEmail:kenthemba@hotmail.com
As soon as you recieve the cheque you let me know because i am busy here trying to put things together and may not be chanced to email you frequently.Feel free to contact him for your cheque.I will stop here. Once again,thank you very much.

Regards,
Cross Weaver

See? Got this email this morning. Everybody can stop complaining about the damn petrol prices now, because anybody who's broke is just freaking stoopid.

Earnin: u iz jus doin it rong.

HAHA suckers. I quit. Take that. Gonna call up Mandela FreeMAN right now and collect my cash. I'm the source of ol' Cross Weaver's success, after all. It's the least that bastard can do. Better get on that now though, I may not be chanced to do it later.

I think I'll have a money room.

And a wrapping room, like Candy Spelling. To wrap my insane amounts of moolah in.

Wonder how much a Spanish pool boy costs? Better get a pool...